Coming Around Again - Chapter 33

Chapter 33

                         Gathered in Kate’s lounge were her parents, Dan’s parents, Claire and Desmond, Rachel, Johns dad Frank and Johns best friend Gary and his wife Debbie. Kate had taken special care in preparing the food for this evening. She wanted everything to be perfect. She wasn’t taking any chances on this happiness and she was grabbing it with both hands. John stood at the side of the fireplace and Kate joined him before she began.
                         ‘Hi everyone. Firstly I’d like to thank you for coming. John and I are delighted that you could make it tonight because we have a very special announcement to make. As you are all aware, John and I have been together for little more than four months. I guess you could call it a whirlwind romance but to be honest we haven’t given that too much thought. It’s been amazing meeting John. After everything I’ve been through….’ Pausing she looked at her parents and Dan’s parents..…’I really didn’t think I would ever be this happy again. John has helped turn my life around and I think his understanding and support have helped me move on from a place I thought I would be stuck in forever.’ Kate noticed a tear run down Marge’s cheek but decided to continue.
                        ‘Ok, so that said, John would like to make an announcement,’ she turned to John and was shocked to see him on his knee. In his outstretched hand he was holding a navy velvet box and in it shone a beautiful emerald and diamond ring. ‘…..this wasn’t what we were going to ……’ he stopped her.
                     ‘Kate, I know this wasn’t in the plan for tonight, but if I’m honest meeting someone like you wasn’t in my plans at all. I never thought I was destined to meet a woman like you and certainly never thought I’d be lucky enough to have her fall in love with me. You are an amazingly strong, resilient, affection, caring woman. You are beautiful, you make me smile every day, even when you’re angry and I’m not meant to smile and although it’s only been a few months I knew the moment I met you that I would fall in love with you. So, Kate, my love, would you do me the honour of becoming my wife?’
                  ‘Oh my god, I….yes….yes I will.’ John jumped up and gathered her in his arms.
                  ‘I love you,’ she exclaimed before kissing him fervently.
                  ‘And I love you my darling,’ he kissed her back.
Their shocked friends and family began clapping and cheering at their display. Rachel jumped up from her place on the couch and grabbed Kate in a bear hug.
               ‘Congratulations Kate. I’m soo happy for you. I had no idea. I thought you were going to just move in together!’
                ‘So did I!’ Exclaimed Kate over the noise of gushing congratulations.
She turned to John who was been back slapped and congratulated.
               ‘When did you decide this?’
               ‘The day I met you!’ he shouted over the cheers.
Kate beamed as she looked at her future husband and felt the happiness envelope her.
              ‘Wait, wait...’ she held up her hand.
             ‘There’s more, let me speak,’ a hush came over everyone as they took swigs of their champagne.
             ‘I just want to say I had no idea that was going to happen, but apparently I may be the only one,’ she looked at her Dad and he shrugged his shoulders.
                ‘He’s an old fashioned guy love, he had to ask your auld Dad for permission,’ he smiled at her and winked at John.
                ‘Well, it may take a while for me to get over the shock, but in the meantime I have another announcement I would like to make,’ she took a deep breath.
               ‘I am delighted to announce that John and I are having a baby!’ she curtsied and placed a protective hand on her belly as John stood beaming by her side.
              ‘Darling,’ Rose rushed to her side ‘that’s just wonderful news.’
             ‘Katie love I couldn’t be happier for you,’ Jack embraced his daughter and kissed her cheek tenderly. You and John deserve all the happiness the world can bring. I can’t believe we’re going to have a baby in the family again…..’ Jack faltered and a tear slid down his cheek.
Kate hugged him tight
               ‘This doesn’t mean I am forgetting Alex in any way. He’ll always be my son,’ she whispered into his ear,  before beginning to cry.
              ‘I know love, sorry,’ Jack pulled away and wiped the tears from her cheeks. I don’t know what came over me. I’m so happy for you both.’
              The next few minutes was taken up with back slapping, kisses and hugs. Everyone was thrilled for them. After regaining her composure Kate was busy chatting to everyone when she noticed Marge leave the room.
              ‘Excuse me’ she said to Gary and Debbie ‘ I’ll be right back. She followed Marge into the Kitchen where she was making herself busy taking foil off the food and preparing it for serving.
              ‘Marge?’ Kate said gently ‘are you okay?’
             ‘Yes dear, I’m fine, congratulations,’ she didn’t look up. Kate reached her and turned Marge around. She saw the tears sliding silently down her face.
            ‘Oh, Marge,’ Kate pulled her close. ‘Please don’t be hurt by this. I need you to be happy for me. I hope you understand I’m not forgetting Dan or Alex during any of this, but I have to move on. I’ve found a happiness with John I thought I’d never find again.’
                 Marge moved from Kate’s embrace, embarrassed by the affection.
                ‘I’m sorry dear. I am happy for you, truly I am. It’s just…..I….I still miss them terribly Kate,’ Marge tried to wipe the tears from her face.
Kate placed her hand softly on Marges arm.
                ‘I know what that feels like Marge. Please don’t think you’re on your own with all this. You can still talk to us anytime.’
               ‘I know dear, thank you. I’m very happy for you and John and I hope you have a long and happy life together,’ she smiled at Kate and patted her arm.
               ‘Now, I think this food is ready for serving so if you’ll excuse me whilst I go powder my nose and then I’ll help you serve up.’
             ‘Thank you,’ Kate said as she put the coffee on. She understood that was all Marge was able to offer right now and was grateful for even that.

                                                                                        ***

              The following months were spent in a frenzy of wedding plans. Kate and John had opted for a short engagement in light of the fact that this was Kate’s second marriage and she was pregnant. They also decided that they wanted an intimate wedding in Ireland, close family and friends only. So three months after his proposal John found himself standing at the front of the church in Clonakilty waiting patiently for his bride to arrive. His stomach was doing somersaults as he fixed his tie and looked nervously around the church. Surrounded by their families and friends he couldn’t believe this day was here. He just wanted to make Kate his wife so they could officially start their lives together. The anticipation was killing him.
                Kate stood outside the church. The spring sunshine had broken through as she had arrived. ‘A good sign,’ she had thought.
               ‘Dad can you give me a minute please?’ Kate asked her Dad as they got out of the car.
               ‘Of course love, everything okay?’
               ‘Everything is great, I just have something I need to do. I’ll be back in a minute.’
Kate walked to the side of the church and placed her hands against the wall, pressing hard she held back the tears.
             ‘This is it Dan. I wanted to say goodbye. I can’t talk to you anymore darling because I need to be fair to John. It wouldn’t be right if there were three of us in this marriage and that’s how it would be if I continued are little chats. I’ll share my hopes and dreams with John now and talk to him when I need advice or a helping hand. I hope you understand. You know I’ll think of you often and you and Alex hold a special place in my heart that nobody will ever replace. Please take good care of him for me. Hold him tight and tell him how much I love him still, and always will. Take care my love and thank you for all the happiness you brought me.’
             Kate took a deep breath and removed a tissue from her bridal purse, dabbing the tears at the corners of her eyes she walked to the front of the church where her Dad was standing looking dashing in his black suit and gold tie.
          ‘Hi. I’m ready now.’
          ‘You sure Katie? No doubts?’ Jack looked concerned.
         ‘No doubts Dad. I just needed to say some goodbyes.’
Jack took her hand.
           ‘I understand Katie,’ he squeezed tightly.
          ‘Everything is fine now. Let’s get me up that aisle and married before he changes his mind!’ Kate laughed with her Dad.
             ‘I don’t think there’s any fear of that love. The guys besotted!’
Kate beamed as she heard the wedding march start and the doors to the Church were opened.
            ‘Lets hope so.’

Coming Around Again - Chapter 32

Chapter 32

                    Two weeks had passed and John and Kate had made a date for that night. Rachel called Kate to see how she was feeling.
                    ‘Oh God Rach I’m so nervous I think I’m going to be sick.’
                    ‘Okay, now you listen to me Kate MaGuire. You have nothing to be nervous about. A few butterflies is good. The excitement is good. But he fancies you or he wouldn’t have asked you out. You fancy him, right?’
                       ‘Right.’
                       ‘Well then.’ She continued. ‘Get out there, let him see your dazzling, infectious personality and the man won’t be able to help falling in love with you!’
Taking a deep breath Kate responded.
                       ‘I’ll do my best.’
                      ‘Come on Kate you’ll be fine. What are you wearing?’
                       ‘My Von Furstenburg blue wrap dress. I figured it hasn’t let me down yet.’
                      ‘Perfect. Shoes?’
                       ‘I picked up a new slinky pair in Fitzpatricks the other day. Killer heels but sexy as hell.’
Rachel laughed with Kate.
                       ‘There she is, there’s the Kate I know. I presume you were with Mary in Tranquility for the full works aswell?’
                       ‘Well, I don’t want to be presumptuous.’
                       ‘Oh come on we’re big girls now Kate. It’s okay to sleep with a man on a first date if you want to. You did go didn’t you?’ Rachel started to panic a little.
                       ‘Calm down, calm down. Of course I did. I said I didn’t want to be presumptuous but I’m not stupid. I’m waxed and plucked to within an inch of my life and I even went to Short Cuts and got my hair done with Simon today.’
                       ‘Wow, you had me worried there for a moment!.’
                      ‘Okay, so repeat after me. I am fabulous…’
                      ‘Rach  I’m fine honestly.’
                       ‘Come on you. Get into the spirit of this. Repeat after me… ‘I am fabulous..’
                       ‘I am fabulous.’
                      ‘I am sexy.’
                       ‘I am sexy…..seriously Rach this is…’
                      ‘…I am intelligent, humourous and have boobs that still stand up.’
                      ‘I am intelligent, humourous and have boobs that still stand up.’
                      ‘and I need to get laid!’
Kate broke into hysterics at this point and Rachel joined in at the other end of the line.
                        ‘Thanks Rach. That’s just what I needed. As always, you’ve come to my rescue.’
                        ‘Sure, what else would I be doing on a Friday evening but helping all my friends who actually have lives and dates to go on. But don’t mind me I enjoy this part of my life. Being single is a hoot!’
                          ‘I promise if this works out I’ll ask John if he has he any single friends for you.’
                           ‘Yippee I can’t wait. More rejection and this time by the men in uniform. My ultimate fantasy will be washed away in a sea of insignificant dates and lost phone numbers. I think we can safely say that won’t happen. So go and enjoy your date Kate and I want a full blow by blow account tomorrow.’
                        ‘Now, now my maudelin friend. We will deal with that pissy attitude of yours at a later date. Tonight I’m going to take your fine words of wisdom and go make a show of myself the likes of which has never been seen on the Irish dating scene.’
                        ‘That’s my girl!’
‘Seriously, thanks Rach.’
                      ‘Ye, Ye.’ Rachel laughed with Kate. ‘Enjoy yourself Kate. You deserve it. And remember, he’s lucky to be in your company.’
                        ‘Oh crap there’s the doorbell. Gotta go. Bye.’
                        ‘Bye.’
Kate tried to take a couple of deep breaths as she made her way down the stairs. She opened the hall door.
                          ‘You look stunning,’ John was standing at her door with a bunch of flowers.
                         ‘Thank you John.’ Looking at the beautiful bouquet he handed her she said,
                          ‘You look very handsome and these are beautiful,’ she took the flowers from him and leaned in to kiss his cheek.
                           ‘Would you like to come in for a drink first?’
                           ‘Dinner’s booked for eight so we should probably get going.’
                           ‘No problem, I’ll just put these in water and be right with you,’ Kate turned and made her way to the kitchen taking a deep breath as she went.
                           ‘Wow he looks so sexy,’ she thought.
                           ‘I have to admit I still feel a little strange about this...’ she started to say as she rejoined him in the hall. But the way he looked at her made her catch her breath.
                          ‘….it feels perfect to me.…’he murmured and reached for her.
John kissed her with such intensity she thought her heart would break. Smiling they pulled back from each other.
                           ‘Sorry about that….actually I’m not sorry. I couldn’t help myself….. I hadn’t planned it or anything…. I don’t want you to think that…..you don’t.... do you?’ He was falling over his words.
Kate laughed and threw her head back feeling giddy with excitement.
                          ‘I don’t think any such thing. And even if you had I like your plan. What do you say we go for this dinner you promised me?’
                         ‘Yes mam,’ he put out his arm, ‘shall we?’
Kate took hold of his arm and walked to the car ‘thank you’ she said into the night air.

***

                        ‘Well?’ Rachel placed her lunch on the table in the staff room.
                         ‘All weekend I tried to get you. ALL WEEKEND!! What the hell happened?’
                         ‘Well,’ teased Kate.
                         ‘Oh come on, don’t make me beg.’
                         ‘Weeell…’ Kate smiled. ‘It was good.’
                         ‘Good? Really that’s it? Good? Come on Kate there has to be more. You didn’t contact anyone all weekend. I talked to the girls. In fact we probably spent the best part of the GDP of a small country on phone calls back and forth to each other trying to find out.’ Rachel poked her gently in the arm.
                         ‘Ok, ok, I can’t hold it back anyway. I have to tell someone before I burst.’ Kate couldn’t contain her excitement any longer.
                         ‘He is amazing Rach. It was amazing. The date I mean. He was a real man. A gent but not a wuzz. You know what I mean.’ Kate was talking ninety to a dozen, tripping over her words in the rush to tell Rachel all about her date.
                          ‘I can’t believe I didn’t hear this from you earlier. It’s Monday for Christ sake. You’re date was Friday! I thought when I didn’t hear from you it was lousy and you didn’t get on well.’
                             ‘Emm, we kind of got caught up for the weekend.’ Kate’s grin took over her face. Her eyes sparkled as she laughed at Rachel’s reaction.
                            ‘Oh my God! Spill. I want all the details. Well not all. But you know what I mean!’
They laughed companionably as Kate took a bite of her sandwich before she went on.
                           ‘Well, after dinner, which was great I may add. He had already paid the bill. I mean I didn’t even see it. Well, we shared a taxi to my house and he asked him to wait while he walked me to my door.’
Rachel scrunched her face up and looked at Kate. Before she could say anything Kate continued.                           ‘I know, don’t say it. I was thinking it was all a bit much myself but Rach, it felt right. It didn’t feel that he was trying too hard. It didn’t feel that he was trying to impress me even. It was just right. I’d had a small sample of what it would be like to kiss him earlier in the evening and I really wanted him to kiss me again. But I was actually nervous when it came to it. We stood at my front door and I felt like a school girl again. I kept thinking I’d forget how to kiss. I tried to run it through my mind. Do I stick my tongue in straight away. Move it around? I was completely over analyising it and I started to think I couldn’t actually do it.’ Kate took a breath as she sipped her tea.
                         ‘Oh God Kate, that’s hilarious. I can’t believe you thought you’d forget how to kiss!’
                         ‘I know, but I swear at one point I just wanted to run away in case I messed it up. I really didn’t want to mess it up. Rach he makes me feel so alive and he’s so handsome. When he smiles he has this dimple and the creases at the side of his eyes just makes him so adorable…’
                    ‘…oh oh I think someone is smitten!’
                    ‘Oh God Rach. I think I am.’ Kate lifted her sandwich to take a bite and replaced it just as quick.
                     ‘Well what happened with the kiss?’
                      ‘It happened. It just happened and it worked. I forgot to think about it. When he leaned in to kiss me everything went out of my head and I just gave myself up to it. I know that might sound corny. But everything else fell away. There was just the two of us and for the first time in a long time I was living in the moment. Right there. It was amazing.’
Rachel reached out and wiped a tear that had fallen down Kate’s cheek.
                           ‘I’m glad this one is from joy pet. It’s been so long for you. I hope this happiness lasts forever.’
                          ‘I’m so scared it will disappear Rach. What happens if it just disappears? He could disappear.’
Kate started to panic and her voice started to raise in pitch.
                         ‘Hey, hey, calm down, don’t panic. It will be okay.’
                         ‘Oh God listen to me. I sleep with a man and instantly think I can’t live without him!’
                         ‘Sorry, we hadn’t gotten to that point. When did that happen?’
Kate smiled through her tears.
                        ‘That happened on Saturday morning when he came over with breakfast.’
                         ‘Okay, if I promise to shut up can you please fill me in?’
                         ‘As quickly as I can because lunch was over 10 minutes ago. After he kissed me he said goodnight and asked could he see me again before he left. I said yes. The next morning he called around with breakfast and I swear Rach when I saw it was him on the doorstep I couldn’t help myself. I opened the door and jumped the poor guy.’ Laughing Kate continued.
                         ‘I don’t think he thought it was going to be so easy! We pretty much stayed indoors till this morning when I dragged myself out of the bed and into work. He’s off today and he’s waiting at home for me.’
Rachel lifted her hand and pointed her finger at Kate.
                        ‘If I could just make one comment?’
                        ‘Sure, what is it?’
                        ‘I don’t think you have any reason to believe that man is ever going to disappear. Sounds like you hooked a good one there Kate.’
                  ‘I’m afraid to believe that, but I really want to.’
                  ‘Just do. Believe it.
                   ‘Do you think so? Really think so?’
                  ‘Yes, yes. Now stop obsessing. We have work to do and by the sound of things you should be getting through yours as quick as possible to get back home to that new man of yours.’
                   ‘You’re right. I know you are.’
The girls tidied up after their lunch and made their way to back to the office.
Kate whispered to Rachel on the way back in.
                   ‘Do you think Eugene would notice if I skived off early?’
                  ‘Tell him you’ve a doctor’s appointment. Works when I use it on you!’ Rachel laughed playfully.
Laughing Kate gave a thumbs up to Rachel as she closed the door to her corner glass box which constituted her office.

***

                     Kate felt her stomach flip as she drove into her driveway that evening. A small part of her expected to find the drive empty and John’s car gone. But as she rounded the corner she caught her breath as John’s old BMW came into sight.
                     ‘He’s here,’ she thought to herself, grinning wildly.
By the time she had pulled up and gathered her things from the car John was standing at the open front door of the house smiling wildly at her.
                        ‘Well, well, well what have we got here?’ he asked cheekily.
Kate couldn’t help herself as she reached the door she leaned in and kissed him passionately.
                        'That’s only because I can smell dinner cooking and I’m starving. I’m making sure I get a decent portion.’
                         ‘Honey you can have it all if that’s what I get for cooking it.’
John reached out and took her hand. Taking her bag and coat from her other hand and placing it on the circular hall table he lead her to the stairs and Kate gratefully followed.
                   ‘If it’s alright with you dinner is on hold. I think I’ve been very patient all day while you busied yourself at work. ‘
                   ‘That’s perfectly alright with me,’ Kate said coquishly as she followed him upstairs.

***

                     After their first few nights together John and Kate became very much inseparable.  Two weeks later they were in Kate’s kitchen. ‘I think it’s time to introduce you to the crew.’
                     ‘Oh god do we have to?’ John joked with her.
                     ‘Yes, we do and if you aren’t on your best behavior they will slaughter you.’ She leaned in and kissed him tenderly on his lips before moving towards the fridge.
                     ‘Well I better be on my best behavior so. When would you like this to happen?’
                     ‘I was thinking tomorrow night if it suits you?’
                     ‘Sure sounds good. I’m working till seven though.’
                     ‘Let’s meet around nine? We can just do drinks in town. Nothing too formal?’
                     ‘Ye sounds good babe. Now how about you get over here and show me how much you appreciate my easy going charm and general wit?’
Laughing Kate sashayed towards John wondering when she was going to wake from this dream.

***

                     ‘Hi you lot,’ Susan plonked herself down beside Rachel and Kelly who were sitting in Café En Seine waiting eagerly to meet John. Rachel had ordered a round of cosmopolitans. They were offering up suggestions as to what he was going to be like because although they had met him when Kate had first arrived home, they had been so preoccupied with looking after her and her state of mind none of the girls could actually get a picture of him in their head.
                     ‘I know he was tall. I remember that much.’ Rachel was saying as the waitress placed the cocktails on the oval marble table.
                     ‘Ye and fair. He wasn’t dark. I would have remembered that at least.’ Interjected Kelly.
                     ‘Can you believe it though girls. Isn’t it ironic how this has all come together? I’m sure the circumstances haven’t been missed by Kate. What has she said about it Rach?’
                     ‘Sue she genuinely isn’t dwelling on it. She just seems so happy I think she’s pinching herself everyday wondering when it going to end. I just hope she can accept it may be that she is one of the lucky ones and has found love twice in her lifetime. Some of us don’t even manage to find it once.’ Rachel was used to cracking jokes at her own expense but she couldn’t help but notice the tinge of sadness in her voice.
                        ‘Ah Rach. You’re turn will come.’
                        ‘Honestly Kelly I’m grand. Don’t mind me. I have you guys why on earth would I need a big strong man to carry me off into the sunset and make wild passionate love to me every night…’
                          ‘…I’m sorry have we interrupted a private conversation here?’ Kate and John were standing beside the group and they all burst out laughing.
                        ‘Hey Kate.’ Said Rachel a little too enthusiastically, embarrassed that John heard her meanderings.
Laughing still Kate stood back a little and gesturing with her hand said.
                        ‘Ladies this is John Dillon.’
After the introductions were done Kate and John settled in with the girls and chatted amicably. A short time later Kate and Rachel were at the bar.
                        ‘You’re right Kate. You’ve a good one there.’
                        ‘Ye, I think you may be right.’ Kate looked towards the table where Susan and Kelly were laughing at something John had said. ‘Looks like he’s a hit.’
                        ‘He certainly is. You two seem really relaxed and happy together. I’m thrilled for you Kate.’
Rachel leaned over and hugged her friend.
                       ‘Thanks so much Rach. It means a lot to me that you and the girls like him. I couldn’t even consider continuing this if you didn’t.’
                        ‘I don’t think there’s any fear of that.’ Laughed Rachel pointing at the table where Kelly was laughing so loudly other customers were turning to stare. They made their way back to the table with the drinks. ‘Hey what’s so funny here?’ Unable to speak Kelly shook her head indicating no by waving her hand furiously in front of her. The laughter was contagious and the group found themselves laughing with her.

***

                      ‘Well, well, look at you all smug and satisfied,’ Kate was undressing slowly thinking about the night they had spent with her friends when she caught John looking at her as he leaned against the door post. 
                       ‘Me? Smug? I have no idea what you mean.’ He smiled seductively at her as he purposefully strode to her side. Placing an arm tenderly on her shoulder he lowered her bra strap to reveal the alluring line from her neck to her shoulder which always made him get aroused when he kissed it. Tonight was no exception. Gently placing his soft seductive kisses on her neck line he spoke between each one.                       
                         ‘I…..think……they ….liked…..me.’ ‘She barely managed to answer as the feelings he stirred in her took over and her brain function evorporated just as the feeling in her stomach tightened.
                       ‘Huh, ye, I think they did.’ She managed to speak before his lips closed over hers and she felt the longing for him stir as it always did when he kissed her.  He leaned back and looked into her clear blue eyes,
                        ‘So does that mean I passed the test?’  Forcing herself back to the present she looked at him and leaned her head to the right before whispering to him,
                        ‘You passed the friends test but I think you need to remind me just what it is about you that I like so much.’ Her throaty laugh pulled at him, his instinct was to take her there and then. She nipped his ear and teased him with her tongue before he pulled away and without a word lifted her in his arms. Placing her on the bed he thought he would play her at her own game. Straddling her he leaned over and whispered to her,
                       ‘After tonight Kate you won’t be able to remember what your name is but you sure as hell will remember why you like me so much.’ With that he began to strip her slowly, expertly, planting kisses in every intimate place he could, not once allowing her to let him stop.
                      ‘Before I'm finished she will defiantly be reminded what she likes so much about me,’ he thought to himself.

***

                  Kate was having drinks with the girls the following Friday after work and try as she might she couldn’t help turn the conversation to her and John. She found herself bringing up things they did or said together at any opportunity in the conversation.
                     ‘Get you Kate Maguire,’ Kelly was the first to bring it up and Kate fained innocence when she did.
                     ‘What?’
                     ‘You know very well what. If I hear John and I did this, John said that, once more…’
                     ‘Ok, ok,’ Kate held her hands up in surrender, ‘you have me sussed. I can’t help it I’m sorry. It’s just so new and…,’ she hesitated.
                     ‘Exciting?’ Sue offered with a knowing smile.
                     ‘Ye that’s it Sue, exciting, God it’s so good.’ With a shrug she lifted her glass of wine and looked at her girlfriends.
                      ‘I promise I won’t say another word for the rest of the night after this, Oh my god the man is absofuckinglutley amazing.’ As the girls laughed and Rachel threw an arm around her shoulders companionably they held their glasses up and toasted with Kate.
                     ‘To Mr Absofuckinglutley amazing,’ they said in chorus.

***

                         It was time to tell her parents, she thought. No point putting if off any longer. Even though she hadn’t talked to John about what the future held for them she knew what she felt for him was something that needed to be spoken about, discussed and brought out into the open. She was ready to face the questions and even the admonishment from Marge if it came to that. But her parents weren’t stupid and they were bound to have noticed her excitement and happiness over the past two months. It made it easier that they knew John, somehow Kate felt this meant their approval would be easier to attain. She knew she shouldn’t care what others thought, but she did. She definitely cared and wanted her parent’s approval for this new relationship, not least because they had been so close to Dan, they had lost a son when he died and she needed them to know she wasn’t replacing him in any way.                         Maybe she needed to convince herself, she wasn’t quite sure yet, but talking about it could only help, she had certainly learnt that much in the last few years. Hesitating for just a moment she picked up her mobile and dialed her parents number. Jack picked up on the third ring and Kate jumped right in.
                      ‘Hi Dad, it’s me. I have some news I want to share with you and Mum.’
Jack knew what was coming, but said nothing to give it away. Jeremy had told him John had come to him and spoken with him. Very admirable he had thought at the time. Very admirable indeed. 
                      ‘Ah Katie love, lovely to hear from you.  From the sound of your voice it seems like it might be good news you want to spread?’ It was a question because he didn’t want to give anything away.
                        ‘Yes, yes, it is. I would like to say this face to face but I don’t want to leave it any longer and I can’t make it over until the weekend.’
                         ‘Go ahead love, sure give us some good news we don’t mind which way it comes.’                                          ‘Dad, I’m in a relationship.’
                        ‘Well, well, that’s just great news. Are you happy child?’
                        ‘Yes, very. I’m very happy.’ She paused. ‘It’s John Dillon dad, the detective handling the case.’
Waiting anxiously for her father’s response Kate sat motionless at her kitchen table. She didn’t have to wait for long.
                       ‘Well, this is a turn up for the books. Super news indeed love. Wonderful man from what I know of him. Seems like you got a good one there Katie.’
                       ‘Really, you’re okay with this?’
                      ‘Child, I’m not just okay with it, I’m delighted with it, and so is your mother.’
                      ‘But I haven’t told her yet!’
                      ‘Em, yes, right…’ Jack cursed himself for being so foolish.
                      ‘You knew didn’t you?’ Kate tried to sound hurt, but she found it funny really. ‘Dad, you’re the worst secret keeper in the whole world.’ She laughed and the tension down the line eased.
                       ‘Oh love I’m sorry, yes Jeremy mentioned it, but I didn’t know how serious it was and figured when you were ready to talk you would.’
                       ‘Jeremy? How did he know?’
‘Well apparently your young man thinks fairly highly of you and decided it was the honourable thing to do to talk to Jeremy about it. He wanted to acknowledge Dan and ensure Jeremy understood he in no way wanted to infringe on those memories. Quite impressive I’d say.’
Kate couldn’t speak as the emotions lodged in her throat.
                       ‘How could anyone get this lucky twice in a lifetime?’ she thought to herself. She coughed to clear her head as much as her throat.
                        ‘Wow, I guess I’m a very lucky lady.’
                       ‘That you are child, that you are. The man is quite smitten apparently and from your voice and what you have said shall I take it that you are too?’
Kate smiled as she spoke and the warmth worked its way throughout her body.
                        ‘Yes Dad, you can take it I am indeed smitten. ‘
                        ‘I think a celebratory meal is in order. This weekend?’
                        ‘Sounds great. I’ll check John’s schedule with him and come back to you.’
                        ‘Great, do that. Katie we really are thrilled for you. Your Mum is fast asleep but I know she’ll want to hear all the details tomorrow.’
                        ‘Yes, yes of course.’ Kate laughed thinking that she better spare her Mum some of the details or the poor woman would have a heart attack. ‘I’ll give you a call tomorrow and make the arrangements for the weekend. I’m looking forward to it.’
                       ‘We are too child. Night Katie, love you darling.’
                      ‘Love you too Dad, night’
                       Kate pressed the end button on her phone and placed it on the kitchen table. She sat where she was for a moment gathering her thought, thinking through her conversation with her father before she spoke.
                     ‘Dan, I’m not sure whether you have had a hand in this or not. It’s easier for me to believe you have. So I want to say thank you. Thank you for sending me someone to care for and love again. Thank you for sending someone to love and care for me. He really is just what I needed. The timing is somehow spot on. Even though John has been on the fringes of my life since you left it I find it fascinating that it took me all this time to actually see him. I know I wasn’t ready before I left for Spain. Isn’t life strange sometimes how it works? I know you understand my feelings about him in no way negate the ones I have for you. But I guess I just wanted to say it to make doubly sure you knew. I like having you as my angel, it brings me peace. Goodnight and thank you. Kisses to Alex.’
                   A solitary tear slid down Kate’s cheek and she gently pressed it with her finger. Emotions so close to the edge spilled over as she thought of Alex and Dan again.
                     ‘It’s okay,’ she thought. ‘I’m okay. This is how it is now and I’m allowed to feel upset sometimes. But I’m happier than I ever thought I could be again so this has to be a good thing.’ Standing she walked towards the kitchen door and switched off the light as she left.

***

                       They arrived back from the meal on Saturday night and decided to have a night cap. Making their way to Kate’s kitchen John made his way around it comfortable in the now familiar surroundings. Kate caught herself thinking about Dan for a moment and the old feeling of loss suddenly didn’t seem so great as she watched John. Smiling she moved up behind him and entwined her arms around his waist as he reached for the glasses.
                      ‘Hey babe, thought we were going to have a swifty first?’ Although the smile on his face ensured she knew he wasn’t complaining silently she smiled at him and reached for his inviting mouth. Her tongue found his and his response matched the intensity she felt. Glasses and nightcaps were forgotten as their kiss intensified and gained momentum getting deeper and more searching. Johns hands found their way to the soft mounds that protruded through the silk dress and Kate moaned as the sensation sent a shiver through her body.
                      ‘Oh God,’ was all she could manage before his expert hands sent another tremble through her.
                      ‘No I’m not, but that will do.’ John smiled knowingly at her and her heart leapt.
                      ‘Kate?’ he whispered it so low she barely heard him. She mumbled a response as she continued to get swept up in the assault on her senses as his lips explored her neck and his hands her body.             
                       ‘Ye?’
                       ‘I love you.’
He said it so softly into her ear without missing a kiss, the seamless transition took her by surprise just as much as his words. But there was no hesitation when she replied.
                        ‘I love you too.’ I
t felt so right. She hadn’t realised she felt this way about him until she heard him say the words. Everything felt right. Nothing felt out of place. It was all so easy, she thought and gratefully surrendered to his passion.

***

                           It seemed time moved so much quicker for them over the coming months as they managed to pack in what other couples would take years to do. Weekends away, dinner parties, family get togethers all became part of their everyday lives as they got caught up in the whirlwind of romance that seemed to surround them wherever they went.
                          It seemed inevitable that the decision would come sooner rather than later and sure enough only four months later they had made the decision that John would move in permanently. They knew it was only right to tell their family and friends.  Kate was feeling anxious about telling Jeremy and Marge in particular. But she had some news of her own she needed to share with John first.
As they lay in bed one Sunday morning Kate expressed her concerns abouttelling Dans family.
                           ‘Trust me, they’ll be fine. I’m sure they’ll be happy for you babe’
                           ‘I hope so John, I know it’s been over two years but Marge can be very peculiar.’
                          ‘Hey, stop worrying. It’s your life. You deserve this Kate, Marge will understand that,’ he leant over and kissed her forehead before stretching his long legs and getting up.
                          ‘Where are you going?’ she looked at him longingly.
                          ‘Breakfast. You obviously have no intention of feeding me. You would keep me here as your sex slave rather than give me a morsel,’ smirking he lay back on the bed and playfully removed the sheet covering her body.
                           ‘You don’t normally complain,’ she wrapped her arms around his neck.
                            ‘I don’t normally have to do a full days work on a Sunday. I’m a growing man I need all my strength,’ he kissed her inviting lips and caressed her body.
She returned his kisses and then he gently moved away.
                            ‘I really have to go if you want breakfast in bed before I split for work.’
                            ‘Ok I’ll let you go but only because I’m ravenous!’
                            ‘Coffee and toast good?’ he enquired as he stood and pulled on a pair of boxers and she watched his taunt body in the early morning sunlight.
                            ‘Oh, you spoil me,’ Kate said laughing as she thought about telling John. Here goes … ‘ toast is fine for me, hold the coffee’ she smiled ruefully up at him.
                             ‘Hold the coffee? What’s wrong with you?’
                        ‘Absolutley nothing wrong’ she grinned ‘they say pregnant women aren’t meant to drink too much coffee!’
                        ‘Pregnant women?....you mean?’ John was in shock.
                        ‘Yes I mean I’m carrying your child.’
                        ‘Oh my God,’ he grabbed hold of her and squeezed her tight, kissing her lips, face, eyes anything he could, ‘that is the best news I’ve ever heard.’
                         ‘Really? Are you sure?’ Kate was a little tentative.
                        ‘Of course I’m sure Kate. I love you and this just seals it for me. Thank you so much.’
                        ‘Well you had a hand in it aswell.’
                        ‘How long?’
                         ‘Nine weeks tomorrow. I only found out on Thursday. My periods haven’t been regular since …well in a long time so I didn’t notice at first. I went to the doctor on Friday and he confirmed it.’ Kate beamed at John as he sat routed to the bed still in shock.
                       ‘I’m going to be a Dad, I can’t believe it,’ he faltered. Gently touching the side of her face he enquired ‘What about you? How do you feel about it’?
                      ‘I’m thrilled John, really I am,’ Kate kissed him passionately.
                     ‘I know I’ll never replace Alex. You understand I would never think like that, don’t you?
                      ‘Yes darling, I know, but does it feel strange?’ John looked worried and Kate wrapped her arms around his waist and tried to reassure him.
                      ‘It feels absolutely wonderful. I really am thrilled, so stop worrying and get the mother of your child some breakfast,’ she smiled and kissed him gently. He kissed her back and for a long time held her tight.
                     ‘I love you,’ he whispered in her ear.
                      ‘I love you too.’
When John had closed the bedroom door she lay in the warmth of the bed where she could still smell his scent.
                     ‘Mmm I like this’ she thought sleepily.

Coming Around Again - Chapter 31

CHAPTER 31

Two days later Kate was meeting with John and Jeremy.
                         ‘What will I do she thought. Should I say anything to him she wondered as she got dressed. This is ridiculous.’
                          ‘Dan, I’m sorry for even thinking this. I don’t know what’s come over me. I still love you darling, but I miss being with a man. I want to feel that again. Not in the drunken stupor and disillusioned way I was with James, but a proper relationship. Is that so wrong?’
She was completely confused and swung back and forth between thinking it was a terrible idea to wanting to come straight out and ask him on a date. On top of it all she felt horribly guilty and really didn’t think she could confide this one in her Dad.
Taking care with her clothes she put on a pair of jeans that always made her feel curvy in all the right places and a subtle green satin wrap top that hugged her slim figure perfectly.
                           ‘Not bad’ she thought surveying herself in the mirror. The doorbell made her jump, ‘no time to change now anyway,’ she thought as she made her way downstairs.
                          ‘Hi guys, come on in,’ Jeremy kissed her on the cheek and John nodded curtly. That was a bit odd she thought.
                         ‘Let’s get down to business folks,’ John spoke as soon as they entered the kitchen. He had barely looked at Kate.
                         ‘Take it easy there John, can we get the coffee on first,’ Jeremy looked at Kate.
                         ‘Ye sure Jeremy, sorry. It’s just a busy time for us. Patrick can’t be here again today but sends his regards and I’m filling him in on everything afterwards.’
                         ‘No problem son,’ Jeremy slapped his back, ‘sit yourself down there and we’ll get started.’
                        ‘I thought it best to inform you myself, but the boss is taking me off the case. We don’t have the manpower to offer anymore,’ he looked pointedly at Kate. She tried to hide her disappointment.
                       ‘That’s a shame John. But I guess you’ve coached us enough now for the interviews and the Spanish Investigators are still working on it.’
                        ‘Ye Kate, I guess so,’ he sounded annoyed.
                        ‘Not happy with the decision John?’ enquired Jeremy.
                        ‘Ah, its grand Jeremy, I’d prefer to be staying on, but I know the Boss needs me elsewhere. I’m being transferred from the department completely. These missing women in Wicklow are draining every resource.’
                         ‘That’s totally understandable son. We’ll miss your help but sure we’ll stay in touch anyhow.’
                        ‘Would you like a coffee John?’
                       ‘Sure that would be great Kate thanks.’
Jeremy’s phone rang and he left the kitchen.
                       ‘Kate?’ John stood and walked towards her.
                       ‘Yes?’ she turned and faced him. He was standing so close she could feel his breath on her face.
                       ‘I need to ask you something.’
                       ‘Em, sure, what is it?’ her heart beat quicken in her chest and her breathing became a little shallower. The physical reaction of her body took her by surprise as she tried to steady herself by the sink.
                       ‘Please don’t take offence, but would you like to go for a drink sometime?’
Kate smiled softly and let out a breath.
                        ‘ I’d love to.’
                         ‘Eh, you would?’ John stammered.
                        ‘Not the answer you were expecting I presume.’ Kate smiled up at him and his soft brown eyes looking back at her gave her waves of excitement in her stomach.
                       ‘No, but that’s great. I’ll…
Jeremy hurried excitedly into the kitchen interrupting Kate and John.
                       ‘That was Jack. He’s going to call on the landline now. He’s in Spain. They’ve charged four guys with the bombings.’
Kate smiled at John as his hand skimmed hers when she handed him his coffee.
After they left Kate sat on the bottom stair for a long time thinking about what had happened.
                       ‘I need to be careful.’ She thought to herself. ‘This one has the capacity to break my heart. Where did those feeling come from all of a sudden?’
                      ‘Dan…I…’ she faltered, not sure this was something she could share with him.
                      ‘Em, I, Oh Dan this is difficult for me. I still love you. But why is this happening if I still love you? I don’t understand.’
As she sat silently the daylight faded and the shadows cast across her hallway sent pockets of eerie light into the room. A long while later Kate raised her head and a picture on the wall that was lit by the moonlight caught her eye. It was the three of them at Alex’s first birthday party. They looked so happy together and Kate nodded her head slowly as she made her way over to the picture.
                       ‘I understand’ she thought to herself. ‘I understand now.’