CHAPTER 7
Rachel and Susan met for their usually get together in Odessa. Their Thursday night ritual had waned in the previous couple of weeks since Dan and Alex had been killed. They hoped that by getting back into a routine they could show Kate that life had to go on. They didn’t hold out much hope that she would join them after Rachels frank discussion with her the previous weekend but they had to believe that one day soon Kate would want to join them and be reminded of all the good times they had shared together.
‘Do you really think she will be a no show tonight?’ Susan wasn’t quite ready to let go of the idea that Kate might turn up.
‘Honestly, after last weekend I wouldn’t be surprised if we didn’t see or hear from Kate for quite some time.’ Rachel paused as the waiter brought their menu and a jug of water to their table.
Susan was looking anxiously at Rachel as she continued,
‘I’m sorry we didn’t get to speak about it properly during the week but I thought it would be better discussing it face to face today.’
‘Ye you’re probably right. So what actually happened?’
Rachel took a deep breath before continuing.
‘Well, you know how Jack and Mrs B called and said they were really worried about her?’
‘Yes.’ Susan nodded emphatically.
‘Well, what I didn’t tell you was the reason they were so worried.’ Rachel took a deep breath before continuing. ‘It’s because she is drinking a hell of a lot. I don’t mean a glass with dinner every night type of a lot I mean a bottle and then some.’
Susans shock was written all over her face as she responded.
‘Oh shit Rach that’s not good. Did you actually say it to Kate?’
‘Ye of course I did. I had to. As you can imagine it didn’t go down too well.’
‘I’d say that alright!’ Susan looked quizzically at Rachel. ‘Do you think it odd that we order a bottle of wine now to go with dinner?’
Rachel laughed.
‘No of course not. This is a whole different ball game to what’s happening with Katie. You choose. I’m happy to share a red if you are?’
‘Ye sounds good. So go on,’ Susan urged as she scanned the restaurant for a waiter and tried to catch his eye.
‘Well she still has all those pictures everywhere. I swear I don’t know how she does it Sue. I mean every day she just sits there staring at the pictures, going over and over them. It’s like nothing else exists. Then usually by about mid-afternoon, and some days Jack said its lunchtime she will go downstairs open a bottle and bring it back up with her.’
‘But have they not said it too her?’
‘Ye of course they have, but she’s just so angry. I think because they are there all the time she takes it out on them. From what I can gather if they so much as open their mouth she jumps down their throat.’
‘That must be awful for them.’
‘Ye, I think Mrs B is finding it more difficult. Jack seems to understand it’s not really about them, they just happen to be there 24/7.’
‘So anyway, go back to when you tried to talk to Kate.’ Susan urged as the waiter approached their table.
‘Ladies, can I get you a drink?’
Susan opened the wine list and replied.
‘Yes please, can we get a bottle of your Chilean house red please, the cabernet sauvignon?’ she smiled her killer smile and Rachel laughed as the waiter walked away.
‘I just love watching mens reactions to you. It’s hilarious to think you can make a man go weak at the knees just by flashing that brilliant seductive smile of yours.’
Embarrassed Susan replied.
‘Oh stop it you. He was grand. No affect whatsoever from me.’
‘Ye right and I’m Lady Di. It’s probably more those blow job lips that have him all hot and bothered!’ Rachel laughed.
‘Oh my God I can’t believe you just said that,’ Susan roared with laughter. ‘You’re incorrigible Rach. For the record they have not been put to good use in a long time so we may need a different pet name for them soon.’ Both girls squealed with laughter.
‘And I’m the incorrigible one?’ Rachel spoke through the tears of laughter.
Just as their laughter calmed down the waiter returned with their bottle and as he showed Susan the bottles label to ensure it was the correct one she pursed her lips and pouted sending Rachel into peels of laughter again. Confused the waiter swiftly uncorked the wine and poured a taster amount into Susans wine glass. Rachel waved her hands vorousiously as she tried to stop the laughter and much to her chagrin Susan explained her situation.
‘I’m so sorry about my friend, they warned me in the hospital when I was taking her out this may happen. She just needs to take her medication and she will be fine.’
Rachel couldn’t believe the innocent sweet face Sue put on whilst smiling provocatively at the waiter.
‘She really did miss her calling as an actress.’ Thought Rachel as she reached over to playfully hit her friends arm as the confused waiter made a hasty escape from their table.
‘Anyway, we keep getting off the subject. Back to Kate.’ Susan took a sip of her wine.
Rachel’s laughter subsided as she continued.
‘Ye, so anyway, she did make some valid points that day. She basically told me that I have no idea what’s she’s going through and to fuck off and leave her alone.’
‘Oh that was a bit harsh.’
‘Actually no it wasn’t and in fairness to her she didn’t use those words. That was me translating for her because as you know Kate would never curse. But she basically told me where to get off and if I’m honest I don’t blame her.’
‘Really?’ Susan was a little taken aback. ‘You were only trying to help Rach, I’m sure she didn’t mean to be that cruel.’
‘She wasn’t being cruel Sue, that’s the thing. It’s not the Katie we know imprisoned in that room of hers. It’s somebody who looks a little like her and that’s it. She is skin and bones, her hair is greasy and she barely showers. Her skin looks clammy and has broken out in spots. Spots for Christ sake, Kate never even had those when we were teenagers! And when I looked at her my heart broke for her, it really did. She is a shadow of her former self. She looks like a lost soul and is so tiny sitting in her big kingsize bed.’ Rachel paused as the waiter came to take their food order. ‘Gosh, I haven’t even looked yet. What are you having Sue?’
‘I’ll have the fish special please, but can I replace the potatoes with extra veg?’
The waiter seemed to have gotten his mojo back as he smiled seductively back at Sue and replied,
‘For you madam, anything.’
Smirking Rachel said, ‘I’ll have the same please, but I will have the potatoes, thanks.’ She handed him the menu and smiled sweetly. ‘I may aswell not exist,’ she thought to herself as she watched the exchange between Sue and the waiter. You could set the atmosphere alight with the electricity running between them.
‘Holy Shit Sue, do you just want to get a room?’ Rachel remarked when he had left the table.
‘Oh don’t be so silly. But I think you were right the first time, I think he was flirting with me just then,’ Sue said coyly.
Sarcastically Rachel replied,
‘Ya think?’ before smiling companionably at her friend. ‘Whatever would Justin think?’
‘Oh he’s well used to my flirting. You know that. He finds it quite charming actually, thank god really. I do get quite a laugh out of it!’
‘Honestly Sue you get away with murder, you have no idea.’ Rachel lifted her glass, ‘I’d like to make a toast. To friends, together forever, no matter what and to Katie coming around again.’
‘Here, here.’ Said Sue and they clinked their glasses. ‘Now please finish the story before we have any other interruptions.’
‘Ok. So, when I brought up the whole drinking situation with Katie she really went at me and accused me of drinking too much, and who was I to tell her what it was ok to drink. Honestly, I was taken aback by the anger. It made me understand what Mrs B was talking about because I hadn’t seen it before then. She really went for me Sue, I swear I was shocked.’
‘That’s unbelievable. And what did you say to her?’
‘What could I say? She told me that I had no idea what she was going through and she would basically do what she liked when she liked and how she liked and by the end of it all I wanted to do was give her a big hug and say she was right, I probably don’t have any clue as to how she really feels and I probably don’t have any right to tell her what to do. Who’s to say you or I wouldn’t react in exactly the same way if our family was taken from us like that?’
‘You’re very good Rach. I’m sure I wouldn’t have been able to hold my tongue if she had of gone for me like that.’ Sue shook her head as she looked at Rachel.
‘I think you would have. If you could have seen her there you would understand what I mean. It’s like somebody else has taken over her shell. Katie’s eyes have no life behind them. I was really shocked at her deterioration since I saw her last week.’
‘Do you think there is anything we can do for her, or anything she will let us do?’ Susan now looked very concerned and even the sexy waiter returning to the table with the food didn’t get so much as a thank you as the two girls leaned conspiratorially closer to each other across the table as they tried to figure out ways to help their friend.
‘I really don’t think so, not right now. I said as much to Jack and Mrs B and Jeremy was there too. I’ll tell you what I told them which was, I think we need to let her know we are here for her and then back off and wait for her to come to us. I just think it’s too soon and she needs more time to grieve.’
What if she doesn’t come to us though, she wouldn’t do anything stupid would she?’ now Susan was starting to get anxious as she thought of the state her friend was obviously in. She had no idea she had gotten so bad.
‘Honestly? I don’t know, I would hope not, but I can’t say for sure that it hasn’t crossed her mind at some point.’
Susan gasped at Rachels answer.
‘Really? Oh God, Really? I was just saying it. I didn’t actually think it was an option.’ Susan hung her head and pushed her plate away from her. ‘Oh God Rach I can’t believe that she would think that.’
‘Hang on, I didn’t say she had, I just said I wouldn’t be surprised. She has been through so much pain Sue, neither of us can begin to comprehend what has gone to through her mind. She never said it to me or anything like that. But put yourself in her shoes, Dan and Alex were blown up for Christ sake. She basically woke up one day and found they weren’t there, were never going to be again. She has no bodies to bury, no grave to visit, nothing. Don’t you think it’s reasonable that in all that she thought to herself why am I here? What’s the point? I know I would.’ Rachel reached out to touch Sue’s arm.
Sue grabbed hold of Rachels hand and looked pleadingly at her.
‘Oh my God no Rach. I would never consider that as an option. No matter what happened. What about everyone else left behind? What about the rest of her family, all of us? She still has so many people who love her and care for her.’
‘Look, you need to calm down.’ Rachel looked around the restaurant at the other diners. They were starting to draw glances their way. ‘I don’t know what she is thinking, but if Katie were to think that was her way to get rid of the pain then we are the ones that have to keep reminding her that there are other ways.’
Susan calmed down again and took a gulp of her wine.
‘Yes, yes you’re absolutely right. We have to show her we are here for her, everyday. So what do you suggest?’ Rachel looked at Sue’s big brown eyes and thought how childlike and innocent she looked sometimes. Sue always needed someone to look out for her even if she didn’t realize it herself. Rachel loved this quality about her friend. She liked being considered the strong one that held them together. At least it was one part of her life that she felt in control of. ‘I suggest each of us ring her every day. If she refuses to talk to us we will go over and stand outside her room if we have to. We will do a rota and get Kelly involved and maybe Cass and a few others. Than we will know she has somebody calling everyday, it won’t be the same person taking on the burden and possible abuse and hopefully at some point Kate will come to the realization that we love her and want her back.’
‘Great idea Rach. I’ll do up a spreadsheet tomorrow in work and email it to everyone’
‘See I knew there was a reason you were such a good P.A.’ Rachel teased.
‘Ha, ha, you crack me up.’ Susan responded playfully. ‘Now maybe we should eat some food before we get any more strange glances from that adorable waiter of mine.’
‘Amazing,’ laughed Rachel, ‘ it took all of one hour for him to go from a nobody waiter to your very own personal one who would most likely lay himself down in a puddle so you could walk over it.’
Laughing Susan answered her.
‘It would be the least I would expect.’
‘Unbelievable,’ laughed Rachel as she drank her wine.
‘Do you really think she will be a no show tonight?’ Susan wasn’t quite ready to let go of the idea that Kate might turn up.
‘Honestly, after last weekend I wouldn’t be surprised if we didn’t see or hear from Kate for quite some time.’ Rachel paused as the waiter brought their menu and a jug of water to their table.
Susan was looking anxiously at Rachel as she continued,
‘I’m sorry we didn’t get to speak about it properly during the week but I thought it would be better discussing it face to face today.’
‘Ye you’re probably right. So what actually happened?’
Rachel took a deep breath before continuing.
‘Well, you know how Jack and Mrs B called and said they were really worried about her?’
‘Yes.’ Susan nodded emphatically.
‘Well, what I didn’t tell you was the reason they were so worried.’ Rachel took a deep breath before continuing. ‘It’s because she is drinking a hell of a lot. I don’t mean a glass with dinner every night type of a lot I mean a bottle and then some.’
Susans shock was written all over her face as she responded.
‘Oh shit Rach that’s not good. Did you actually say it to Kate?’
‘Ye of course I did. I had to. As you can imagine it didn’t go down too well.’
‘I’d say that alright!’ Susan looked quizzically at Rachel. ‘Do you think it odd that we order a bottle of wine now to go with dinner?’
Rachel laughed.
‘No of course not. This is a whole different ball game to what’s happening with Katie. You choose. I’m happy to share a red if you are?’
‘Ye sounds good. So go on,’ Susan urged as she scanned the restaurant for a waiter and tried to catch his eye.
‘Well she still has all those pictures everywhere. I swear I don’t know how she does it Sue. I mean every day she just sits there staring at the pictures, going over and over them. It’s like nothing else exists. Then usually by about mid-afternoon, and some days Jack said its lunchtime she will go downstairs open a bottle and bring it back up with her.’
‘But have they not said it too her?’
‘Ye of course they have, but she’s just so angry. I think because they are there all the time she takes it out on them. From what I can gather if they so much as open their mouth she jumps down their throat.’
‘That must be awful for them.’
‘Ye, I think Mrs B is finding it more difficult. Jack seems to understand it’s not really about them, they just happen to be there 24/7.’
‘So anyway, go back to when you tried to talk to Kate.’ Susan urged as the waiter approached their table.
‘Ladies, can I get you a drink?’
Susan opened the wine list and replied.
‘Yes please, can we get a bottle of your Chilean house red please, the cabernet sauvignon?’ she smiled her killer smile and Rachel laughed as the waiter walked away.
‘I just love watching mens reactions to you. It’s hilarious to think you can make a man go weak at the knees just by flashing that brilliant seductive smile of yours.’
Embarrassed Susan replied.
‘Oh stop it you. He was grand. No affect whatsoever from me.’
‘Ye right and I’m Lady Di. It’s probably more those blow job lips that have him all hot and bothered!’ Rachel laughed.
‘Oh my God I can’t believe you just said that,’ Susan roared with laughter. ‘You’re incorrigible Rach. For the record they have not been put to good use in a long time so we may need a different pet name for them soon.’ Both girls squealed with laughter.
‘And I’m the incorrigible one?’ Rachel spoke through the tears of laughter.
Just as their laughter calmed down the waiter returned with their bottle and as he showed Susan the bottles label to ensure it was the correct one she pursed her lips and pouted sending Rachel into peels of laughter again. Confused the waiter swiftly uncorked the wine and poured a taster amount into Susans wine glass. Rachel waved her hands vorousiously as she tried to stop the laughter and much to her chagrin Susan explained her situation.
‘I’m so sorry about my friend, they warned me in the hospital when I was taking her out this may happen. She just needs to take her medication and she will be fine.’
Rachel couldn’t believe the innocent sweet face Sue put on whilst smiling provocatively at the waiter.
‘She really did miss her calling as an actress.’ Thought Rachel as she reached over to playfully hit her friends arm as the confused waiter made a hasty escape from their table.
‘Anyway, we keep getting off the subject. Back to Kate.’ Susan took a sip of her wine.
Rachel’s laughter subsided as she continued.
‘Ye, so anyway, she did make some valid points that day. She basically told me that I have no idea what’s she’s going through and to fuck off and leave her alone.’
‘Oh that was a bit harsh.’
‘Actually no it wasn’t and in fairness to her she didn’t use those words. That was me translating for her because as you know Kate would never curse. But she basically told me where to get off and if I’m honest I don’t blame her.’
‘Really?’ Susan was a little taken aback. ‘You were only trying to help Rach, I’m sure she didn’t mean to be that cruel.’
‘She wasn’t being cruel Sue, that’s the thing. It’s not the Katie we know imprisoned in that room of hers. It’s somebody who looks a little like her and that’s it. She is skin and bones, her hair is greasy and she barely showers. Her skin looks clammy and has broken out in spots. Spots for Christ sake, Kate never even had those when we were teenagers! And when I looked at her my heart broke for her, it really did. She is a shadow of her former self. She looks like a lost soul and is so tiny sitting in her big kingsize bed.’ Rachel paused as the waiter came to take their food order. ‘Gosh, I haven’t even looked yet. What are you having Sue?’
‘I’ll have the fish special please, but can I replace the potatoes with extra veg?’
The waiter seemed to have gotten his mojo back as he smiled seductively back at Sue and replied,
‘For you madam, anything.’
Smirking Rachel said, ‘I’ll have the same please, but I will have the potatoes, thanks.’ She handed him the menu and smiled sweetly. ‘I may aswell not exist,’ she thought to herself as she watched the exchange between Sue and the waiter. You could set the atmosphere alight with the electricity running between them.
‘Holy Shit Sue, do you just want to get a room?’ Rachel remarked when he had left the table.
‘Oh don’t be so silly. But I think you were right the first time, I think he was flirting with me just then,’ Sue said coyly.
Sarcastically Rachel replied,
‘Ya think?’ before smiling companionably at her friend. ‘Whatever would Justin think?’
‘Oh he’s well used to my flirting. You know that. He finds it quite charming actually, thank god really. I do get quite a laugh out of it!’
‘Honestly Sue you get away with murder, you have no idea.’ Rachel lifted her glass, ‘I’d like to make a toast. To friends, together forever, no matter what and to Katie coming around again.’
‘Here, here.’ Said Sue and they clinked their glasses. ‘Now please finish the story before we have any other interruptions.’
‘Ok. So, when I brought up the whole drinking situation with Katie she really went at me and accused me of drinking too much, and who was I to tell her what it was ok to drink. Honestly, I was taken aback by the anger. It made me understand what Mrs B was talking about because I hadn’t seen it before then. She really went for me Sue, I swear I was shocked.’
‘That’s unbelievable. And what did you say to her?’
‘What could I say? She told me that I had no idea what she was going through and she would basically do what she liked when she liked and how she liked and by the end of it all I wanted to do was give her a big hug and say she was right, I probably don’t have any clue as to how she really feels and I probably don’t have any right to tell her what to do. Who’s to say you or I wouldn’t react in exactly the same way if our family was taken from us like that?’
‘You’re very good Rach. I’m sure I wouldn’t have been able to hold my tongue if she had of gone for me like that.’ Sue shook her head as she looked at Rachel.
‘I think you would have. If you could have seen her there you would understand what I mean. It’s like somebody else has taken over her shell. Katie’s eyes have no life behind them. I was really shocked at her deterioration since I saw her last week.’
‘Do you think there is anything we can do for her, or anything she will let us do?’ Susan now looked very concerned and even the sexy waiter returning to the table with the food didn’t get so much as a thank you as the two girls leaned conspiratorially closer to each other across the table as they tried to figure out ways to help their friend.
‘I really don’t think so, not right now. I said as much to Jack and Mrs B and Jeremy was there too. I’ll tell you what I told them which was, I think we need to let her know we are here for her and then back off and wait for her to come to us. I just think it’s too soon and she needs more time to grieve.’
What if she doesn’t come to us though, she wouldn’t do anything stupid would she?’ now Susan was starting to get anxious as she thought of the state her friend was obviously in. She had no idea she had gotten so bad.
‘Honestly? I don’t know, I would hope not, but I can’t say for sure that it hasn’t crossed her mind at some point.’
Susan gasped at Rachels answer.
‘Really? Oh God, Really? I was just saying it. I didn’t actually think it was an option.’ Susan hung her head and pushed her plate away from her. ‘Oh God Rach I can’t believe that she would think that.’
‘Hang on, I didn’t say she had, I just said I wouldn’t be surprised. She has been through so much pain Sue, neither of us can begin to comprehend what has gone to through her mind. She never said it to me or anything like that. But put yourself in her shoes, Dan and Alex were blown up for Christ sake. She basically woke up one day and found they weren’t there, were never going to be again. She has no bodies to bury, no grave to visit, nothing. Don’t you think it’s reasonable that in all that she thought to herself why am I here? What’s the point? I know I would.’ Rachel reached out to touch Sue’s arm.
Sue grabbed hold of Rachels hand and looked pleadingly at her.
‘Oh my God no Rach. I would never consider that as an option. No matter what happened. What about everyone else left behind? What about the rest of her family, all of us? She still has so many people who love her and care for her.’
‘Look, you need to calm down.’ Rachel looked around the restaurant at the other diners. They were starting to draw glances their way. ‘I don’t know what she is thinking, but if Katie were to think that was her way to get rid of the pain then we are the ones that have to keep reminding her that there are other ways.’
Susan calmed down again and took a gulp of her wine.
‘Yes, yes you’re absolutely right. We have to show her we are here for her, everyday. So what do you suggest?’ Rachel looked at Sue’s big brown eyes and thought how childlike and innocent she looked sometimes. Sue always needed someone to look out for her even if she didn’t realize it herself. Rachel loved this quality about her friend. She liked being considered the strong one that held them together. At least it was one part of her life that she felt in control of. ‘I suggest each of us ring her every day. If she refuses to talk to us we will go over and stand outside her room if we have to. We will do a rota and get Kelly involved and maybe Cass and a few others. Than we will know she has somebody calling everyday, it won’t be the same person taking on the burden and possible abuse and hopefully at some point Kate will come to the realization that we love her and want her back.’
‘Great idea Rach. I’ll do up a spreadsheet tomorrow in work and email it to everyone’
‘See I knew there was a reason you were such a good P.A.’ Rachel teased.
‘Ha, ha, you crack me up.’ Susan responded playfully. ‘Now maybe we should eat some food before we get any more strange glances from that adorable waiter of mine.’
‘Amazing,’ laughed Rachel, ‘ it took all of one hour for him to go from a nobody waiter to your very own personal one who would most likely lay himself down in a puddle so you could walk over it.’
Laughing Susan answered her.
‘It would be the least I would expect.’
‘Unbelievable,’ laughed Rachel as she drank her wine.
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