CHAPTER 23
Kate was sitting at home, the fire was lit and the glow from it cast a shadow throughout the lounge. It was the only light in the room. Kate didn’t mind. She couldn’t bear to watch any more Christmas Specials. Even though she hated Christmas time she preferred the winter because she had an excuse to curl up at home with the curtains drawn and drink away her sorrow. She poured another vodka from the bottle and noticed it was nearly finished. She thought about Dan and almost immediately the thought was replaced with one of James. Get out of my head she thought. You’re not meant to be there. This is Dan’s time.
She still couldn’t shake the image of James and now it was him underneath her in her mind’s eye as she moaned in pleasure on top of him. She smiled.
‘Well I suppose if I have to think of you, that’s not a bad thought’. Taking a large swig of her vodka she placed the glass on the ground as she began pleasuring herself thinking of James caressing her body and kissing her breasts as she moved on top of him. She picked up her mobile from the floor beside the couch and dialed.
‘Hey you’ she said hoarsly.
‘Hey you.’
‘Guess what I’m doing?’
‘Emm, I could guess but I have a feeling it might be more pleasurable if you described it for me.’
‘Ooh, you are a naughty boy…well I am lying here, naked and started thinking of you on top of me, your hands moving slowly over my body, teasing me….’
‘Oh God Kate you are a cruel woman. How can you say this to me and just leave me hangin….I want you so bad. I’m so bloody hard and would love to come over right now and show you what I would do to you.’
‘Why don’t you, I’m lying waiting…’
‘You know I can’t, even this is cutting it fine.’
‘Are little wifey and you going to bed now? Are you going to do her instead of me?’ snapped Kate. She could feel the anger rise in her, but she couldn’t help it.
‘Hey, don’t be like that,’ James said softly.
‘You know I’d much prefer to be there with you, we agreed,’ there was silence.
Whispering, James said, ‘look I’m sorry I’ve got to go, shit I’ve still got a fucking hard on.’
‘Don’t waste it then’ she cut the phone off.
‘Fuck you James Murphy, who needs you anyway’ Kate took another large swig from her vodka. The realization that James was very likely climbing into bed with his wife right now didn’t help her mood. She wrapped her thai silk dressing gown tightly around her and sat up on the couch.
‘Fuck you, you’re a shit head,’ She shouted in the empty room. Louder she screamed, ‘I hate you, I hate you’ and started pounding the cushions. Standing she bent and grabbed the bottle of vodka, flinging it across the room. Slamming against the wall it smashed into pieces and the vodka ran down the wall onto the deep pile cream carpet. Kate buried her head in her hands and fell against the cushioned couch and wept.
‘Why is this happening to me, I just want to be happy,’ she mumbled to nobody in particular.
The doorbell rang. Who the hell is calling at this hour?
‘James, it must be James’ she thought excitedly. Gathering herself together she tried to wipe her tear sodden face and remove as much running mascara as possible. The broken bottle of vodka caught her eye. ‘Oh sod it,’ she thought ‘we’ll go straight upstairs to the bedroom anyway.’
She stumbled as she made her way to the hall and tried to fluff her hair. Planting a smile on her face she swung the door open.
‘Hello there’ she said sultrily.
‘Eh, hello,’ Jack stood on the other side of the door, embarrassed. Coughing he looked at Kate.
‘Dad!’ Kate exclaimed.
‘Not who you were expecting I presume.’
‘Eh, no, sorry.’
Jack was still standing outside and took in Kate’s disheveled look, the mascara running down her cheeks and slight stumble as she tried to hold onto the door for support.
‘Come in,’ she tried to sound perky as she stepped aside.
‘Are you sure, if you’re expecting someone I can come back tomorrow. I know it’s late.’
‘No, no it’s fine. She had regained her composure and realized how ridiculous she was to think that it would be James.
‘Apart from anything else he would have had to have a time machine to get here that quick’ she thought. ‘I was just about to open a bottle of wine,’ she walked towards the kitchen ‘You can join me if you wish.’
‘No that’s alright love. I’m driving.’ Jack looked at her quizzically. He was sure she was drunk. Was this a second bottle or was he just mistaken?
‘Were you out after work tonight?’ he figured he’d probe gently.
‘No.’
‘Friday night Kate, were the gang not heading for a few drinks?’
‘Probably.’
He decided it was pointless to continue, she wasn’t going to tell him the truth.
‘Why don’t we go into the lounge and relax. I wanted to talk to you.’
‘Ok,’ Kate led her Dad into the lounge.
Too late she noticed the broken bottle lying on the floor.
‘Damn it,’ she thought. ‘I forgot about that.’
Jack took one look at the room and his composure left him. Before he left his house tonight he had sworn to Rose that he would keep his cool but taking Kate by the arms he implored of her.
‘What’s going on with you Katie? Please talk to me. Your mother and I are worried sick.’
Twisting her arms out of his grip she moved away. The humiliation she felt towards herself was compounded by her dads’ close proximity.
‘Nothing is going on with me Dad, it was just an accident.’ She knew it sounded like a feeble excuse and her dad would see right through it.
‘Doesn’t look like nothing to me. You look a mess, there’s a broken bottle of vodka, which has obviously been thrown against the wall and you are drunk. This isn’t normal behaviour for you.’
Jack was pacing now.
‘So tell me Dad what you think normal behaviour is for me then?’
She stood facing him her hands planted on her hips ready for a fight.
‘I’m saying Kate that it’s been over a year of this now. You would never have behaved like this when you and Dan were together and there’s gossip, people are talking.’
‘What gossip? Who the hell’s been talking about me? What business is it of anybody else’s what I do?’ she screamed at her Dad.
‘It doesn’t matter, I don’t believe them anyway.’
‘Ooh how bloody good of you. Once it’s ok with Mr Jack Black everything is fine!’ She mocked him.
‘There’s no need to be like this Katie. I know you don’t mean it love. You’re angry and you’re taking it out on me.’
‘Yes I’m angry Dad and I do mean it goddammit.’
She walked to the fire place and stood with her back to the room.
‘I’m angry all the time and I can’t help it. So you’re going to have to accept that this is ‘normal’ behaviour for me now. Think of it as ‘the new me’ she grimaced.
‘No I damn well won’t!’ Jack stood defiantly.
‘I know you Katie, you’re my daughter. And I know that under all this anger and hurt is the same little girl who used to sit on my lap and let me read her stories. The same young girl who excitedly told me that she met the man she would marry the first time she set eyes on him,’ he slowly moved towards her, ‘and the same girl who told me the morning she got married that all her dreams were coming true.’
He reached her and gently placed his arm on her shoulder.
‘Don’t ruin all those memories now by doing this. You can be happy again darling I promise you. If you just let the happiness in.’
She turned, tears streaming down her face.
‘I can’t Dad. I can’t.’ She buried her head into his shoulder and bawled.
Jack caressed his daughters head and tried to sooth her.
‘There there Katie, it’s ok. You’re going to let me help you and together we’ll bring back that vibrant, fun-loving happy girl we all know and love.’
She looked up at him.
‘I’d really like that Dad, but I’m not sure she’s there anymore. She got blown up in Malaga Airport too.’ She sobbed again. This time Jack just let her get it all out.
Later that night Kate talked to Dan.
‘It’s nearly Christmas again darling and I feel everything is falling apart. I can’t cope with this anymore. I wish I was with you and Alex. I don’t want to wake up tomorrow. I just want to close my eyes and be with you both, and I know it’s wrong, that I should be grateful I’m alive and can continue with my life. But I’m not. I want to be with you guys. I miss you so much. Why should I have to be here without you?’
She paused, as always waiting for a response that never came.
Kate fell into a fitful sleep and dreamt of Alex and Dan. They were in the airport walking towards her. They were smiling and waving and then James came and swept her in his arms. She panicked and when she looked they were gone, so too was the airport and in its place was a boat and James and her were standing on the deck. The azure blue ocean stretched out around them for miles. She called their names but nobody answered and she woke, sweating and breathless.
She still couldn’t shake the image of James and now it was him underneath her in her mind’s eye as she moaned in pleasure on top of him. She smiled.
‘Well I suppose if I have to think of you, that’s not a bad thought’. Taking a large swig of her vodka she placed the glass on the ground as she began pleasuring herself thinking of James caressing her body and kissing her breasts as she moved on top of him. She picked up her mobile from the floor beside the couch and dialed.
‘Hey you’ she said hoarsly.
‘Hey you.’
‘Guess what I’m doing?’
‘Emm, I could guess but I have a feeling it might be more pleasurable if you described it for me.’
‘Ooh, you are a naughty boy…well I am lying here, naked and started thinking of you on top of me, your hands moving slowly over my body, teasing me….’
‘Oh God Kate you are a cruel woman. How can you say this to me and just leave me hangin….I want you so bad. I’m so bloody hard and would love to come over right now and show you what I would do to you.’
‘Why don’t you, I’m lying waiting…’
‘You know I can’t, even this is cutting it fine.’
‘Are little wifey and you going to bed now? Are you going to do her instead of me?’ snapped Kate. She could feel the anger rise in her, but she couldn’t help it.
‘Hey, don’t be like that,’ James said softly.
‘You know I’d much prefer to be there with you, we agreed,’ there was silence.
Whispering, James said, ‘look I’m sorry I’ve got to go, shit I’ve still got a fucking hard on.’
‘Don’t waste it then’ she cut the phone off.
‘Fuck you James Murphy, who needs you anyway’ Kate took another large swig from her vodka. The realization that James was very likely climbing into bed with his wife right now didn’t help her mood. She wrapped her thai silk dressing gown tightly around her and sat up on the couch.
‘Fuck you, you’re a shit head,’ She shouted in the empty room. Louder she screamed, ‘I hate you, I hate you’ and started pounding the cushions. Standing she bent and grabbed the bottle of vodka, flinging it across the room. Slamming against the wall it smashed into pieces and the vodka ran down the wall onto the deep pile cream carpet. Kate buried her head in her hands and fell against the cushioned couch and wept.
‘Why is this happening to me, I just want to be happy,’ she mumbled to nobody in particular.
The doorbell rang. Who the hell is calling at this hour?
‘James, it must be James’ she thought excitedly. Gathering herself together she tried to wipe her tear sodden face and remove as much running mascara as possible. The broken bottle of vodka caught her eye. ‘Oh sod it,’ she thought ‘we’ll go straight upstairs to the bedroom anyway.’
She stumbled as she made her way to the hall and tried to fluff her hair. Planting a smile on her face she swung the door open.
‘Hello there’ she said sultrily.
‘Eh, hello,’ Jack stood on the other side of the door, embarrassed. Coughing he looked at Kate.
‘Dad!’ Kate exclaimed.
‘Not who you were expecting I presume.’
‘Eh, no, sorry.’
Jack was still standing outside and took in Kate’s disheveled look, the mascara running down her cheeks and slight stumble as she tried to hold onto the door for support.
‘Come in,’ she tried to sound perky as she stepped aside.
‘Are you sure, if you’re expecting someone I can come back tomorrow. I know it’s late.’
‘No, no it’s fine. She had regained her composure and realized how ridiculous she was to think that it would be James.
‘Apart from anything else he would have had to have a time machine to get here that quick’ she thought. ‘I was just about to open a bottle of wine,’ she walked towards the kitchen ‘You can join me if you wish.’
‘No that’s alright love. I’m driving.’ Jack looked at her quizzically. He was sure she was drunk. Was this a second bottle or was he just mistaken?
‘Were you out after work tonight?’ he figured he’d probe gently.
‘No.’
‘Friday night Kate, were the gang not heading for a few drinks?’
‘Probably.’
He decided it was pointless to continue, she wasn’t going to tell him the truth.
‘Why don’t we go into the lounge and relax. I wanted to talk to you.’
‘Ok,’ Kate led her Dad into the lounge.
Too late she noticed the broken bottle lying on the floor.
‘Damn it,’ she thought. ‘I forgot about that.’
Jack took one look at the room and his composure left him. Before he left his house tonight he had sworn to Rose that he would keep his cool but taking Kate by the arms he implored of her.
‘What’s going on with you Katie? Please talk to me. Your mother and I are worried sick.’
Twisting her arms out of his grip she moved away. The humiliation she felt towards herself was compounded by her dads’ close proximity.
‘Nothing is going on with me Dad, it was just an accident.’ She knew it sounded like a feeble excuse and her dad would see right through it.
‘Doesn’t look like nothing to me. You look a mess, there’s a broken bottle of vodka, which has obviously been thrown against the wall and you are drunk. This isn’t normal behaviour for you.’
Jack was pacing now.
‘So tell me Dad what you think normal behaviour is for me then?’
She stood facing him her hands planted on her hips ready for a fight.
‘I’m saying Kate that it’s been over a year of this now. You would never have behaved like this when you and Dan were together and there’s gossip, people are talking.’
‘What gossip? Who the hell’s been talking about me? What business is it of anybody else’s what I do?’ she screamed at her Dad.
‘It doesn’t matter, I don’t believe them anyway.’
‘Ooh how bloody good of you. Once it’s ok with Mr Jack Black everything is fine!’ She mocked him.
‘There’s no need to be like this Katie. I know you don’t mean it love. You’re angry and you’re taking it out on me.’
‘Yes I’m angry Dad and I do mean it goddammit.’
She walked to the fire place and stood with her back to the room.
‘I’m angry all the time and I can’t help it. So you’re going to have to accept that this is ‘normal’ behaviour for me now. Think of it as ‘the new me’ she grimaced.
‘No I damn well won’t!’ Jack stood defiantly.
‘I know you Katie, you’re my daughter. And I know that under all this anger and hurt is the same little girl who used to sit on my lap and let me read her stories. The same young girl who excitedly told me that she met the man she would marry the first time she set eyes on him,’ he slowly moved towards her, ‘and the same girl who told me the morning she got married that all her dreams were coming true.’
He reached her and gently placed his arm on her shoulder.
‘Don’t ruin all those memories now by doing this. You can be happy again darling I promise you. If you just let the happiness in.’
She turned, tears streaming down her face.
‘I can’t Dad. I can’t.’ She buried her head into his shoulder and bawled.
Jack caressed his daughters head and tried to sooth her.
‘There there Katie, it’s ok. You’re going to let me help you and together we’ll bring back that vibrant, fun-loving happy girl we all know and love.’
She looked up at him.
‘I’d really like that Dad, but I’m not sure she’s there anymore. She got blown up in Malaga Airport too.’ She sobbed again. This time Jack just let her get it all out.
Later that night Kate talked to Dan.
‘It’s nearly Christmas again darling and I feel everything is falling apart. I can’t cope with this anymore. I wish I was with you and Alex. I don’t want to wake up tomorrow. I just want to close my eyes and be with you both, and I know it’s wrong, that I should be grateful I’m alive and can continue with my life. But I’m not. I want to be with you guys. I miss you so much. Why should I have to be here without you?’
She paused, as always waiting for a response that never came.
Kate fell into a fitful sleep and dreamt of Alex and Dan. They were in the airport walking towards her. They were smiling and waving and then James came and swept her in his arms. She panicked and when she looked they were gone, so too was the airport and in its place was a boat and James and her were standing on the deck. The azure blue ocean stretched out around them for miles. She called their names but nobody answered and she woke, sweating and breathless.
***
Christmas came and went and nothing changed for Kate. She felt alone and afraid most of the time. She took refuge in the arms of James and their time together became her only source of happiness. She felt alive when they had sex and she was getting more adventurous as time went on. He never knew what was in store for him when he met her. That’s just the way he liked it. At the end of January they booked a hotel for the weekend and when James met her in the basement car park Kate’s eyes were bright and portrayed her eagerness. As she walked towards him James saw the dilated pupils and knew she’d been drinking again. But he didn’t care. He knew it meant she would be insatiable. Kate was wearing her new fake fur coat he had given her for Christmas and when she approached him she whispered in his ear.
‘I’m naked under the coat.’ He scanned the car park before tracing the curves of her body with his hand.
Huskily he replied.
‘And I have a hard on for you the size of the Empire State you better get into our room now before I fuck you right here.’
Kate walked seductively by him and made her way to the desk.
‘I’m naked under the coat.’ He scanned the car park before tracing the curves of her body with his hand.
Huskily he replied.
‘And I have a hard on for you the size of the Empire State you better get into our room now before I fuck you right here.’
Kate walked seductively by him and made her way to the desk.
She checked in and swept so close past him on her way to the lifts, that he could smell her perfume. She texted him the room number. She was swiping the card when she saw James get out of the lift and she giddily pushed open the door to reveal their king size suite.
James came in the open door dropping his bags to the ground and walked slowly towards her. He undid his tie and pulled it off throwing it to the ground he started undoing the buttons on his shirt revealing his taut body, honed from years of pushing weights at his office gym. He reached Kate as he removed his shirt. She lunged for his trousers and pulled at his belt. Hungrily she opened his trousers and felt for what he had promised her. She wasn’t disappointed.
He grinned and slid the fur coat from her shoulders reveling in her nakedness. As it dropped to the ground her sallow skin glowed and felt soft to the touch.
He grabbed hold of her, lifting her to the bed. Placing her on the satin covers neither of them said a word as he took both her hands and held them together above her head. With his knee he made her open her legs and she moaned in anticipation. James felt himself pulsate, he slid his trousers down with his free hand. Gliding himself expertly on top of her he guided himself into her, teasing her before pushing deep inside. Kate groaned and tried to move her hands. She wanted to grab hold of him but he held her hands down and covered her mouth with his using his tongue to excite her even more.
He whispered in her ear,
‘Ssh babe’ as she called out his name.
‘I’m going to take this nice and slow.’
Slowly, expertly he took her into a sexual frenzy as she begged him for more. He started to writh faster and faster until she came, screaming in ecstasy. He let himself go and pounded her hard again before he was satiated. James lay on the bed beside her breathing huskily.
‘Nice start to the weekend’ he murmured grinning as Kate lay basking in the sexual afterglow they had created. He rolled over and she slowly rose from their bed and opened the bottle of champagne that was set on the bureau for them. She walked provocatively back to the bed handing him his glass and toasted.
‘To a lot more where that came from.’ She smiled seductively and he returned her smile with a knowing smirk. He took a gulp of the champagne before pulling back the covers and revealing his readiness for more of the same action.
‘Oh my Mr Murphy I’d hate to see that go to waste.’ Kate knocked back the remainder of her champagne before eagerly joining James again.
After that their weekend was filled with sex, room service and enough alcohol to refloat the titanic. Kate felt content as she spent the time playing and teasing James. She felt like the sexiest woman alive.
After the weekend with James Kate arrived into her dark house late Sunday night and was struck by the cold loneliness that enveloped her. She quickly turned on all the lights and made herself a stiff drink. She knew that would help.
‘What else is there to do?’ she thought.
James came in the open door dropping his bags to the ground and walked slowly towards her. He undid his tie and pulled it off throwing it to the ground he started undoing the buttons on his shirt revealing his taut body, honed from years of pushing weights at his office gym. He reached Kate as he removed his shirt. She lunged for his trousers and pulled at his belt. Hungrily she opened his trousers and felt for what he had promised her. She wasn’t disappointed.
He grinned and slid the fur coat from her shoulders reveling in her nakedness. As it dropped to the ground her sallow skin glowed and felt soft to the touch.
He grabbed hold of her, lifting her to the bed. Placing her on the satin covers neither of them said a word as he took both her hands and held them together above her head. With his knee he made her open her legs and she moaned in anticipation. James felt himself pulsate, he slid his trousers down with his free hand. Gliding himself expertly on top of her he guided himself into her, teasing her before pushing deep inside. Kate groaned and tried to move her hands. She wanted to grab hold of him but he held her hands down and covered her mouth with his using his tongue to excite her even more.
He whispered in her ear,
‘Ssh babe’ as she called out his name.
‘I’m going to take this nice and slow.’
Slowly, expertly he took her into a sexual frenzy as she begged him for more. He started to writh faster and faster until she came, screaming in ecstasy. He let himself go and pounded her hard again before he was satiated. James lay on the bed beside her breathing huskily.
‘Nice start to the weekend’ he murmured grinning as Kate lay basking in the sexual afterglow they had created. He rolled over and she slowly rose from their bed and opened the bottle of champagne that was set on the bureau for them. She walked provocatively back to the bed handing him his glass and toasted.
‘To a lot more where that came from.’ She smiled seductively and he returned her smile with a knowing smirk. He took a gulp of the champagne before pulling back the covers and revealing his readiness for more of the same action.
‘Oh my Mr Murphy I’d hate to see that go to waste.’ Kate knocked back the remainder of her champagne before eagerly joining James again.
After that their weekend was filled with sex, room service and enough alcohol to refloat the titanic. Kate felt content as she spent the time playing and teasing James. She felt like the sexiest woman alive.
After the weekend with James Kate arrived into her dark house late Sunday night and was struck by the cold loneliness that enveloped her. She quickly turned on all the lights and made herself a stiff drink. She knew that would help.
‘What else is there to do?’ she thought.
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